TDI Presents The Cell Block Tango
by TheRestIsRustAndStardust
Summary: To quote nostalgia critic somewhat" The six merry murderesses of Camp Wawanakwa sing of how they did away with the men who pushed them too far."


Whee! Cell Block Tango, Total Drama Island Style!

Courtney: Pop.

Beth: Six.

Bridgette: Squish

Eva: Uh uh.

Gwen: Cissaro.

Rae Ann: Lipschitz.

(faster tempo)

Courtney: Pop.

Beth; Six

Bridgette: Squish.

Eva: Uh uh.

Gwen: Cissaro

Rae Ann: Lipshitz

(faster and faster)

Courtney: Pop.

Beth; Six

Bridgette: Squish.

Eva: Uh uh.

Gwen: Cissaro

Rae Ann: Lipshitz

Chef: And now, the six merry murderesses of Camp Wawanakwa present The Cell Block Tango. I'm getting out of here! * runs away*

Courtney: Pop.

Beth: Six.

Bridgette: Squish

Eva: Uh uh.

Gwen: Cissaro.

Rae Ann: Lipschitz.

All together: They had it comin'! They had it comin'! They only had themselves to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd a seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Courtney: You know how people have these little habits that getcha down? Like Duncan; _Duncan _liked to chew gum. No, not chew. _Pop!_ So one day, I head back to where we all hang out, and I'm _really_ irritated, and looking for some sympathy. And there's Duncan, sitting there, drinking some water and chewing gum. No, not chewin'. _Poppin'! _So I tell him, you pop that gum one more time... And he did. So I took the shotgun down from the wall and fired two warning shots...into his head!

Everybody: They had it comin'! They had it comin'! They only had themselves to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd a seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Beth: I met Justin at a bar. He told me he was single and we hit it off right away. Pretty soon, we started dating; every day after the show, we'd get together, I'd fix him a drink, and we'd go eat dinner. Until I found out. Single he told me? Single my ass! Not only was he not single, oh no; he had six girlfriends. One of those Mormons, you know? So the next day, he came over, as usual, and I fixed him a drink. You know some men just can't hold their Arsenic!

Everybody but Beth: He had it comin'! He had it comin'! He took a flower in it's prime! And then he used it! And he abused it! It was a murder, but not a crime!

Bridgette: One night I was sitting in my room, whittling, minding my own business, when in storms my boyfriend Geoff in a jealous rage. He starts screaming,"You been sneakin' around on me!" He was crazy. He just kept saying, over and over, "You been sneakin' around on me!" And then he fell into my knife. He fell into my knife TEN TIMES!

Everybody but Bridgette: If you'd a been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Eva: * crying*

Mit keresek, enn itt? Azt mondjok, hogy lakem lefogta a ferjemet  
en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem  
tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tetten. Probaltam a rendorsegen  
megmagyarazni de nem ertettek meg..

Bridgette: Yeah, but didja do it?

Eva: Uh uh. Not. Guilty!

Gwen: My bunkmate Heather and I used to do this traveling show together, and my boyfriend Trent came along for the ride. As our finale, we did these twenty acrobatic trick in a row, one two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, backflips, the works. One day, we're all hanging out at the Hotel Cissaro, boozing, having a great time, and we run out of ice. I offer to go get some, and when I come back, there's Trent and Heather doing number seventeen: The Spread Eagle. I went into such a state of shock, that I don't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands that I even knew they were dead. He had it coming! He had it coming! He had it coming ALL ALONG! I didn't do it, but if I did it, how couldja tell me that I was wrong?!

Everybody together: They had it comin'! They had it comin'! They only had themselves to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd a seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!

Rae Ann: I loved Chris Mclean more than you could have possibly imagined. He was dramatic, an actor. But he was troubled. He went out every night trying to find himself. And along the way, he found Ruth. Gladys. Rosemary. And Irving. You could say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive. And I saw him _dead!_

Everyone:

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!!!

They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
All along  
All along  
'Cause if they used us  
'Cause if they used us  
And they abused us  
And they abused us  
How could you tell us  
How could you tell us  
That we were wrong?  
That we were wrong?

Courtney: You pop that gum _one more time!_

Beth: Single my ass!

Bridgette: Ten times!

Eva: Mier csukkot Uncle Sam bortonbre.

Rae Ann: Artistic differences.

Courtney: Pop.

Beth: Six.

Bridgette: Squish

Eva: Uh uh.

Gwen: Cissaro.

Rae Ann: Lipschitz.


End file.
